koffl next back Author : Jan B. Hurych
Title : THE OLD COACH ROAD (12)




THE HONEST ADS

These ads were offered free of charge to several department stores, but to my utter suprise they refused to use them :-). Three managers actually offered me a discount in their store if I do not publish them. Now this is an idea for starving poets!

CUSTOMER
Just buy what we have in store,
and don't bother anymore.
All your wishes we ignore:
customer is such a bore.

CREDIT CARD
You may as well disregard
your favorite credit card,
since you are tourist at large,
we can always overcharge.

PRICE
Let your eyes bulge from their sockets:
we can reach deep in your pockets.
Somewhere else you may buy cheap,
prices here are high and steep.
We laugh all the way to bank,
while you carry home that junk.

DISCOUNT
Brother, if you cannot count,
we will offer you discount.
You cannot get better deal,
shopping here is just a steal....
(for us, of course)


PRESCRIPTION
This is doctor's dedication:
Do not use this medication!
If you still decide to buy,
you may kiss your health good-bye!

QUALITY
Because of low quality -
your payment is charity.

PLEDGE
Here we do not guarantee
any printed warranty.

REFUND
Here's the place of no return,
refunds are not our concern.
Never running out of tricks,
we promissed it just for kicks.

SHOPPING
Shopping here is such a pain,
since your money we will drain,
why don't simply use your brain
and from shopping here abstain.